Steve Jobs Hates Socialized Medicine
Hot Buttered Rum is the latest in drink technology about the Taylor home and my budding fascination with this drink can be laid out on three fronts, as follows: warmth, butter, and brown sugar. My career as a tippler has seen many ales, iced drinks sweating through the glass onto napkins and wrists, shots slammed like nails, things with straws, vintages and vinegars, but it’s a rare night indeed that I apply to my glass any combination of: warmth, butter, or brown sugar. H.B.R.’s got all three! We are talking a dairy product, something that comes from a cane, and the byproduct of electric heat, and that beats the cacophonous whoosh of a soda-gun any day. Plus it’s pioneer living. I could not be any more gruff and authentic right now if my drink were drawn from a mini-keg proffered underchin by a slobbering St. Bernard. Here’s me in a log cabin just outside a lumber camp in northern Quebec. Tomorrow morning at 5 AM I’ll ramble Eastward and discover an abandoned Indian burial ground and there’s not much you and your iPod and your hemmed pants can do about that.
Speaking of an iPod, I bought one. Well, not a real one but a Shuffle. For years Steve Jobs did his little jig in front of me, and his punchline was “Only $600!” (CDN) and so I treated him like a homeless dupe asking me for a twenty-spot and then acting all indignant when he gets shot down. All that money for a damned music box? So I stayed there, arms folded and foot scornfully tapping away, until Stevey-O kept pulling new tricks out. He slyly put his arm around me, walked me to the corner, called me by my first name a lot. “Look, Nick, let me explain to you ‘convergence’, Nick. $400! Mini! Gold Mini! U-mother-scratching-2, Nick!” Tap tap tap. But that undying pigfucker eventually bargained me down to a mere Shuffle—sans accessories I should point out, where he’s still in the doghouse in a major way for the $40 armband—and I’m walking away feeling like I’ve done my good deed of the day, and then the Canada-hating devil has the nerve to take a month to ship the damned thing. I’ll get you for this, Jobber.
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So how do you like your Shuffle? I have an iRiver flash mp3, and although the display is tiny, I couldn’t live without it–the display, that is. Steve Jobs seems to have shaken up Sony, which is fast releasing mp3 players like everyone else, maybe giving up on ATRAC minidisc. Betamax, sic transit gloria mundi.
My favourite part about the Shuffle, besides the cuteness, is the no-moving-part’dness of it. I like being able to fling the thing across the room if I so desire. But it just arrived today so I’ll have to play around with it more.
Jobs has certainly made a good bid for the low-end market. We have for now reached the upper limit on the number of useful that mp3 players can do, so now it’ll be about making them slicker and less annoying. And: branding. Good ol’ Apple.
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